četrtek, 30. november 2017

Day 126: Love 1

Or what I hate on you. Yes, I see on him something negative too, because I know him so much time and we have ups and downs, so I can see his pluses and minuses and this time I see minuses or how different is than me.



I forgive mysefl that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like how close is he. When and as I see myself to don't like how close is he, I stop and breath. I realise that I don't know how to prepare him to told me more about him and if he like me or not. But I must to realize that when he want he told me about himself, so I must leave him alone or only support him. I don't like this, because I thin and see myself like a outspoken person who told a lot about myself. So, I commit myself that I don't hate how close he is and I only support him to be himself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like his shy. When and as I see myself to don't like his shy, I stop and breath. I realise that he like small talk, but when we start talk about him or relation he became shy and son't tell anything about him and what he think. So, I commit myself that I'm carefull and only listen him and support and once maybe tell me more about himself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like his small talk, because he want to chat when I'm bussy. When and as I see myself to don't like his small talk, I stop and breath. I realise that I often want only talk with someone, so he want to talk with me too, but he want only type all conversations and I don't have time and will be better if we talk, but he don't want to talk on phone or skype or any where, so I must typing too. I commit myself that I accepted his wish and breath and told him if I don't have enough time for chat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like because he don't want chat on phone. When and as I see myself to don't like because he don't want to chat on phone, I stop and breath. I realise that if you typing you slow your mind and think what you must to write and so on. But in some situations I want to hurry up all together, because I don't have time, I want to told him a lot of things as so on, but he don't like chat on phone any time, ok, he call me before we need to meet each other and he is not on computer to write. But I want to chat or listen him more often than once in two years when we see each other. So, I commit myself to calm myself, breath, and accepted that he don't like chat on phone and when I want to chat ask if he want and if he say no, I don't care about that.

sreda, 29. november 2017

Day 125: Love

Yes, I write that I'm in love, but in real I don't know what think about. I know this men a few years and last 2 years are single. And I'm tired because I want to tell him direct and indirect that I like him, but he don't react on any suggestion, so I don't know where I am. And when I see him I become crazy on him and I think that he like me too, but I don't know if it's real.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want be with him, but I don't know if he want be with me. When and as I see myself to want be with him, but I don't know if he want to be me, I stop and breath. I realise that I want be with him, because I see something on him, but I don't know jet what. He don't have time for me, is all the time bussy, I cry often because of him and all the time I'm dissapointed in relation on him, but when I see him I'm in love. So, I commit myself that I want to be real when I see him and see what is the thing that I love or what I want to have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in real conversation scare to told him that will be better if he made first step and so on, but on computer I don't have any problem to told him anything. When and as I see myself to in real conversation scare to told him that will be better if he made first step and so on, but on computer I don't have any problem to told him anything, I stop and breath. I realise that there is not that guilty of computer but it is my feelings to him and because it I scare told mu all and how I want to tell me. I commit myself to try next time be alone with him and told him all what I want to told him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't want to leave him because we know each other too much time. When and as I see myself to don't want to leave him because we know each other too much time, I stop and breath. I realise that I think that if I leave to go where he want to go, I hurt him, but in this way I hurt myself and is tough for me because I live this life, and I wish that once be together, because now we are only friends or less, but we know each other 6 or 7 years and I don't want to lost him. I commit myself that I go and breath and live my life and allow him to live his life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm guilty that he left his ex. When and as I see myself to think that I'm guilty that he left his ex, I stop and breath. I realise that he left his ex because he want do this and not bcause we kiss each other once when we meet each other. So, I commit myself to when I feel guilty, I stop, brath and know, that left partner is because them, not my guilty and he made this choice.

torek, 31. oktober 2017

Day 124: To lie myself

Last time I see myself that I want to help and support other people, but in my words is not that I do. I tell them something and doing something else. And what I tell them is only theory and I must be the first person who live that theory. So because I only tell them and not living I lie myself and other people.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to live what I talk to other people what they must to do. When and as I see myself to not to live what I talk to other people what they must to do, I stop and breath. I realise that often I talk about think that I don't live, but I have a lot of things about that theme to tell and advice them. But how I can give someone advice if I don't live that. So, I commit myself that I when I see myself to want to give other people advice where I know only theory and don't live, I stop and breath and I told them that like, I don't do this jet, but it will be god if we think and do in that and that way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I lie myself when I tell other what I don't live in my life but only heard that is the best to do in that way. When and as I see myself to feel that I lie myself when I tell other what I don't live in my life but only heard that is the best to do in that way, I stop and breath. I realise that I often listen other people and with no try myself that in my life and prof that what they say is true I told the same stuff other people and this is not god for me and other people who told me and who listen me. So, I commit myself that I try and prove what I head and want to tell other people for support or argument.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad like I have something in myself when I told other people what I don't prove in my life. When and as I see myself to feel bad like I have something in myself when I told other people what I don't prove in my life, I stop and breath. I realise that if something is logic from my experiences that I have and I heard from someone I can connect my experience and their knowing and can support other, but if I have only knowing with no similar experiences I can't  support other with this knowing. So, I commit myself that before talk something to someone I must believe in that information and trust them and prove them from myself or only I prove a part of information and logically connect with my experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to feel bad when I talk about politics that I don't want heart about, because I'm not prepare for that, but I have a lot of advice about. When and as I see myself to not to feel bad when I talk about politics that I don't want heart about, because I'm not prepare for that, but I have a lot of advice about, I stop and breath. I realise that this is for me biggest point to work on, because in one way I don't want think and participate in politics, but in other way I have a lot of advice about how to react and be good politics, so I must work on this and become person who go in the election and give my voice for kandidate that I like it and is the most stable and talk what they think and do. So, I commit myself to don't talk too much about politics since I don't give my vote for one of them.

nedelja, 29. oktober 2017

Day 123: Cat and fear of height

Today my mum say that I went to something to other building and with big problem I go. I see open door and light inside and then I see cat in the balcony in the top of the stairs. I call cat, but they don't response and cat scare of me, because don't want go next to me on the stars down. It look down from balcony in the other side and I scare that jump down. I call it, but not response. I go up in the stairs and cat in the end look last time down and jump. I hear only dum- dum and then I see cat how to run. It's survive, but I don't know if they have any problems. And yes, it jump 4 meters or more.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare that cat will jump when I see his attention and when it look down. When and as I see myself to scare that cat will jump when I see his attention and when it look down, I stop and breath. I realise that I scare height and I scare that cat will hurt itself if jump down that 4 meters, because I believe that I don't survive if I jump from that height. But cat more afraid me that height and jump and survive. I commit myself that if I want something to not to do any animal only go away and don't scare if they survive or not, because they don't afraid anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to afraid of height and I think that animals have too. When and as I see myself to afraid of height and I think that animals have too, I stop and breath. I realise that animals look and when they see that jump is only solution they jump and survive, because they not think about height, but how to land to survive and be ok. But we think more about height, what can go wrong and why not to jump and all consequences if we jump or fall, so we are not in the moment and we think about fears, but animals use only run or fight, but they don't think too much what to do. I commit myself to learn how to react with look on animals and their behaviour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that cat not survive after the jump, but I see how they run. When and as I see myself to think that cat not survive after the jump, but I see how they run, I stop and breath. I realise that I not need be in the shock after seeing cat jump 4 meters or more and hear how land in the grass with no problem, but I accept myself like a person who is in the moment and don't think about fears and what can be wrong if I do something. I must be like this cat, who land in the feet and survive and run away. I must survive and be myself. I commit myself that I don't think only observe what is doing around myself and learn a lot new things.

sobota, 30. september 2017

Day 122: Lost

I want to call back someone and my phone don't react. So I become nervous and lost, because I don't know what to do. I wash my hand and screen, nothing work. What now? I borrow some phone that I call back person that call me, and then I go in the repair shop ask what to do. They told me that touch screen don't work and they need one week to repair. I feel lost, because I need some help what to do from ma family. I ask them there how much is if I buy new phone and I see that was not good. In the end I borrow one phone and call home that they help me. I live phone there and go around and all the time feel empty and lost. 



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and lost because I can't use a phone. When and as I see myself feel bad and lost because I can't use a phone, I stop and breath. I realise that I have addiction and this is good therapy to heal myself. It the worst be addict from a thing that is not good for me and not help me. Ok, in the some way is help me, but in other not. I commit myself that I must leave phone more often at home and don't use them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take so mush attention a thing like phone. When and as I see myself to take so much attention a thing like phone, I stop and breath. I realise that I use different phones more that 17 years and this is more than half of my age. I commit myself that I must from time to time look from what I'm addicted and do all that prevent too big addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better if I have phone next to me with battery full and connection on web and talk with other, than without phone. When and as I see myself to feel better if I have phone next to me with battery full and connection on web and talk with other, than without phone, I stop and breath. I realise that I must be in touch all the time and if I don't answer in the moment than they call me or write me is bad for me and my business, but this is only in my head. A 20 years ago we call each other once or we talk about meeting a months, weeks or days ago and all be ok, but now, we must call a minute before we meeting each other. I commit myself that I from time to time put phone in cabinet and go out and breath and be in the moment that I can't be if I have phone in the pocket or next to me when I think about phone all the time and not be in moment. 

četrtek, 28. september 2017

Day 121: Money

So in the end I find job in factory, because I need money. I don't like money, but I need it in this sistem. And I must earn some money for survive in sistem and take chance to other people too. If I survive in this sistem and work with money, can help other people see money in the same way.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don't need money. When and as I see myself to think that I don't need money, I stop and breath. I realise that I need money in this sistem for survive in. There is the most of selling and buying is with money. I commit myself that accept money like something that I need in this moment in this sistem and I must learn work with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what I buy for money that I earn it. When and as I see myself to think what I buy for money that I earn it, I stop and breath. I realise that there are a lot of things that I want it, but I need money for this. I want and need new computer, travel around the word and visit people that I want know them in real life too. I commit myself that I look what I really need to buy and what is something that I don't need. Next I must see if I find something cheaper with the same quality. With travelling I must look the cheapest version of travel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need money if I want be popular. When and as I see myself to believe that I need money if I want be popular, I stop and breath. I realise that real friend like you with or without money and being popular is not because money, but because your charisma, behaviour and other things. So, I commit myself to be who I am and who like me now, this person like me whenever and now I don't have money, but I can say, that I am popular or people like me.

sreda, 30. avgust 2017

Day 120: I change 3

I think that a lot of people live in bubble or box and see their wold on their way. And this bubble/box is our mind and we scare go out of them. And I made first step for going out of this bubble/box.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare think out of the box. When and as I see that I scare think out of the box, I stop and breath. I realise that we scare all what is new and we don't trust on it, so we prefer be in that box and be safe. But there is world out of the box. So, I commit myself that I try think out of the box and don't scare if I see and realise something new.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare move myself out of the box. When and as I see myself to scare move myself out of the box, I stop and breath. I realise that last time other people force me that I stop out of the box, out of my bubble. And I survive and be stronger than ever. I see that that things makes me stronger. So, I commit myself that next time when I must out out of the box or bubble I go and enjoy, because I can learn a lot, and I move myself out of the box too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm not good enough and don't send a job request. When and as I see myself to think that I'm not good enough and don't send a job request, I stop and breath. I realise that I'm not so bad and send request, because I really need a job and money. And all what I need it is go out of the bubble where I think, that I'm not good enough and send mail. Is not so hard, but is big problem, if your mind is much stronger than your wish for change and when is wish enough big or you must do something, then your mind is not so much strong and you can move out of the bubble/box. So, I commit myself that I must see what is my wish and why I don't move, what I think about, what is my scares, and when I see problem in my mind I move myself.