Day 30: Who am I?

I admit, that I wite a blogs because I want finish with DIP Lite and go to the DIP Pro, and sometimes I write only because I writing, not because I want change myself. I change in last four months since I start with DIP Lite and writing blogs, but I still don't know who I am and why I'm here and what I must to do, why I was be born in this planet. I have so much questions and so little answers. I live in two parallel worlds, before and after start with DIP Lite and I'm so confused. I know, that all answers is on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself writing because I write, not because I want see change in myself. When and as I see myself writing because I write, not because I want see change in myself, I stop and breath. I realize that I change myself with writing, because I see myself now how I change. I am more peace and I can talk with all people. I don't look for love, touch and attention anymore, because I write out all and forgive myself about it. I commit myself  to belive that all what I write is work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that I don't know who I am and what I do in this planet. When and as I see myself think that I don't know who I am and what I so in this planet, I stop and breath. I realize that I live now in this planet, and I want help other start to live, but I don't see how, because I'm not enough emotionally stable and I don't know enough about think, mind and other important things. I commit myself that I do and don't think what to do and who I am and what I must to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think too much about things that not important for me and my life. When and as I see myself think too much about things that not important for me and my life, I stop and breath. I realize I do what I must to do if I think or not, but if I don't think, I do more and faster and I'm not so tired. I commit myself that I stop think and start do.

Day 29: Look young

Today I made different hairstyle than other and I think that I look younger than I am. I don't know if I'm realy so young or I only think that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that I look young because I'm change hairstyle. When and as I see myself think that I look young because I'm change hairstyle, I stop and breathe. I realize that I see myself young because I fell young and I'm young. I commit myself that I see myself how I look in real, not how I fell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that I look young because I see myself younger that other people look. When and as I see myself think that I look young because I see myself younger that other people look, I stop and breathe. I realize that this is only my irelevant perceptions and this is only how I see other. I commit myself that I don't compare myself with others.

I forgive myself that I have accpeted and allowed myself to compare myself with others. When and as I see myself compare myself with others, I stop and breathe. I realize that I can't compate myself with others because I'm different than others and each person is unique. I commit myself that I don't compare myself with others.

Day 28: Pay me please

In December and January I was work. I work 10 or more hours at day. And I don't see money jet, because my boss don't have money, because he tell me that them don't pay. And I must live without money and ask him for my money all month each day and if I have lucky he pay me in one month.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be angry on him and almoust want to kill him. When and as I see myself be angry on him and almoust want to kill him, I stop and breath. I realize that in this case help me only that I call him each day. I commit myself that I be calm when I speake with him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be angry on myself that I still go to the work to him. When and as I see myself  be angry on myself that I sill go to the work to him, I stop and breath. I realize that this is my problem not his. I commit myself that I'm not so naive.

Day 27: Fall because I'm thinking

Tomorrow will be one year since my grandma die. Today I go to the forest and thinking about her and fall on my ass. Later I'm thinking about my thinking and hurt myself once again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking about my grandma who die one year ago. When and as I see myself thinking about my grandma who die one year ago, I stop and breath. I realize that I don't forgor her yet. I commit myself that I don't think about her so much.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself don't be carefull and fall on my ass. When and as I see myself don't be carefull and fall on my ass, I stop and breath. I realize if I look and think when and how I walk I don't fall. I commit myself that I think what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alowed myself think about my fall and hurt myself again. When and as I see myself think about my fall and hurt myself again, I stop and breath. I realize that I go here each year and this is first time that I fall. I commit myself that I look when I go.

Day 26: Be nervous

Today I was nervous because I was sleep too little and I'm tired and because computer don't work enougt fast that I want and need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be nervous because computer don't work enough fast, because I need it. When and as I see myself be nervous because computer don't work enough fast, because I need it, I stop and breath. I realize that if computer work slow is ok, because I can do, but when computer stop, then it will be problem. I commit myself that if computer work slow I work slow too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself have unproperly conversation with other people, because I'm only tired. When and as see myself have unproperly conversation with other people, because I'm only tired, I stop and breath. I realize if I'm tired I must go sleep and other people must see me like I'm sleep enough. I commit myself that I look like and act like I'm sleep enough and I'm feel perfect.

I fogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself argue with other people after I see myself where is problem. When and as I see myself argue with other people after I see myself where is problem, I stop and breath. I realize that this is last moment that I can made something right in the moment that I can do wrong. I commit myself that if I see where is problem I stop thinking and do something.

Day 25: Have a time

Today I  have time all day, but in the same time I don't have any time. I come to an agreement with someone to work together, but bouth must do other things too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that other people must have time when I have time. When and as I see myself think that other people have time when I have time, I stop and breath. I realize that other people have other work too, not only agreement for work with me. I commit myself that I do what I must to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that I must be very important if I say that I don't have time in that moment than other have time and then argue if other don't have time when I have time. When and as I see myself think that I must be bery important if I say that I don't have time in that moment than other have time and then argue if other don't have time when I have time, I stop and breath. I realize that sometimes have time me and sometimes other, so we must have a conversation and don't be angry if other people don't have time when I have time. I commit myself that I adjust other people around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that other people know when I have time without conversation and that other people told me when they have time, without I ask them. When and as I see myself think that other people know when I have time without conversation and that other people told me when they have time, without I ask them, I stop and breath. I realize that conversation is very important. I commit myself that I ask and say what I want to know and what I must say for normal comunication.

Day 24: Rainy day

I'm so lazy, but today is really lazy day, because is rain all day. I stay in house all day and my head hurt me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be lazy because it's rain outside. When and as I see myself be lazy because it's rain outside, I stop and breath. I realize that I do something inside if I can't do anything outside, but I can go out to the walk with umbrella too. I commit myself that I doing something in all weather situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my head hurt me, because I stay inside and have low presure. When and as see myself that my head hurt me, because I stay inside and have low presure, I stop and breath. I realize that I must go out to the walk or doing something interesting inside. I commit myself that I go out more often.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself hink that if raining outside, that is nothing interesting to see outside. When and as I see myself think that if raining outside, that is nothing interesting to see outside, I stop and breath. I realize if I go out to take some picture I can take it, because is all day is different and all kind of picture is beautifull. I commit myself that I go out in the rain and take some picture.