Day 69: Cooking in public

I feel sick. I'm so nevous because I cooking in public in one competition. In this competition I must prepare some dish with some must use ingredients and some other that be there. I know what I will cooking, but I don't know if I have enough time, because I prepare the same dish at home and I finish in last second, but I don't doo all I want to do tomorrow. I have only 20 minutes to made dish. I cook in public and I cook on time, but not bouth in the same time, this is first time for me, and I hope I'm good and stable enough that I make what I think and I don't forgot any ingredient.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous, because I cooking in public on time first time. When and as I see myself to be nervous, because I cooking in public o time first time, I stop and breath. I realize that this is big test for me and how I doing under pressure. Each time when is something new for me, I'm nervous, but this time I'm really nevous. I commit myself that I calm myself with beathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, that if I don't win is no metter if I'm the last. When and as I see myself to think, that if I don't win is no metter if I'm the last, I stop and breath. I realize that my chose that I cook in public is big decision and I winner because I decision go in this competition. This is for me big oportunity, because there will be some people who have cooking magazine and this was big step for me, that this people see me. I do the best I can and be happy in each place. I commit myself that I'm calm, stable and do what I can do in that moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous all week, because I don't know what to prepare, when I cook and other think. When and as I see myself to be nervous all week, because I don't know what to prepare, when I cook and other think, I stop and breath. I realize that I have enough time to decide what to prepare and I ask when I cook, because I don't know where to look. I ask for a lot of think and they told me. Now I must only look where I cook and go there and prepare how I know. This is so simple and I know all. Because I'm nervous, I don't sleep enough and I'm tired at day. I commit myself that I go to the bed soon and try to sleep fast, like I go in bed, and breath and don't think.

Day 68: Who am I- playing roles

I'm thinking. Who am I? Am I boss of my firm, or someone who look for job? Am I farmer or young person who look for fun? In each moment I play different role, but who I am in real. I know, that I'm only person, but why I must play, why I change dress when I came from shopping and go to the meeting, this is playing and in real this I'm not me. I try to talk with all people, but I understand with someone, but with other not. I don't try chat with all anymore. I think, that I am who I am in real only on web, where told all what I think, but not all. Mybe only in blog I'm real me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think who I am. When and as I see myself to think who I am, I stop and breath. I realize that this is a big question and I have more time to realize who I am in real, but now I know, that I'm person, who can told all about myself and want to please all people around me. I know that this is not possible, because someone love me, but other hate me, but this is not my problem. I commit myself that I try to be who I really am, so I talk, behave and do in way I know that I me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what I am. When and as I see myself to think what I am, I stop and breath. I realize that I don't know what I am. Am I boos or someone who look for job, farmer or youg person who look for fun, mybe I'm something other? But I see that in real I am all this. I'm boos and farmer, I'm young person who look for fun and look for job. And this is not my play, this I am. I do all this. I am all this. But here are problem, because I play different roles. I behave differenty when I am boos and when I'm farmer. I commit myself that I realize what I am as soon as posible,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I play a lot of roles and want to please all people around me. When and as I see myself to think that I play a lot of roles and want to please all people around me, I stop and breath. I realize that if I behave in all situation the same, think and talk the same, in this moment I don't play roles. Yes, I change my outfit, but in my bassis I'm I, but only if I think, talk, and behave in all situation the same. If I try to show myself better in one situation, but in other I think, that I'm less than other people, in thai sutuation I play roles. I commit myself that I behave, think and talk in all situation the same and don't play, but I'm me who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I can talk with all people the same. When and as I see myself that I think that I can talk with all people the same, I stop and breath. I realize that I can't talk with all people the same, because I can't tell all about myself to all people, because some information are private, and some people don't need to know all about me, what I do and why I do what I do. I want that people think how good person I am. I commit myself that I'm me, whatever I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to show myself in best way to other people. When and as I see myself to try to show myselt in best way to other people, I stop and breath. I realize that I can be only what I am, and I can't be other person who really am. I don't need to think what to do in front of other people, I must be who I am. I commit myself that I behave like I know is the best, but I must be me in real.

Day 67: Why me?

I live in farm and I'm oldest one. My parents will go in Friday to trip and I must care for cows in the stable. I asking myself why me, why don't ask my sister who live in the same house too? I don't work there first time and I know, that this is not last time. Mybe I must move in other place and find yob where I work all day there, not at home. I don't know, but I know, that I must will go in Friday on the stable and care for cows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate to go to the stable. When and as I see myself to hate to go to the stable, I stop and breath. I realize that I hate go to the stable, because I'm lazy and don't want work at home, because noone pay me. But this is not thrue. I can free live here, not need to pay. So I must work home to live here, because I don't learn enough money. I commit myself that I go to the stable and I'm happy that I don't need to pay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry on people around me, because I must go to the stable and work there. When and as I see myself to be angry on people around me, because I must go to the stable and work there, I stop and breath. I realize that this is good for me, because I know to work a lot of thinks. And the worst for me is if I'm angry on other people because I'm lazy for work. I commit myself that I go to the stable and do what I must to do because myself and animals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare go to the stable, because I have a few accidents with cows before. When and as I see myself to scare go to the stable, because I have a few accidents with cows before, I stop and breath. I realize that if I be carefull and watch what I do, that I don't have any accident anymore. This accidents become, because I'm not carefull and move too fast and scare them. So if I move slowly its all be ok. I commit myself that I go to the stable and breath and think what I do, not what I must to do out of the stable.

Day 66: Be nervous

I'm nervous, because I don't know what will be on friday in workshop. I have had this kind of workshop a few months ago, but then I know how much children came, but now I don't know. So I must be prepare for 0 or 100 children who can came in my workshop. So how much ingredients I must prepare, because I will make with them Chocolate balls.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous, because I don't know if I be prepare for this kind of workshop and so much of people. When and as I see myself be nervous, because I don't know if I be prepare for this kind of workshop and so much of people, I stop and breath. I realize that I'm nervous because I think too much what will be if will be. I'm not in real and think only what I need to prepare for this. I prepare ingredients for 50 or more people and if gone before finish I do something else. I commit myself that I think what I know that I can change, nothing else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous, because I don't know how I can have all this people in wokshop. When and as I see myself to be nervous, because I don't know how I can have all this people in workshop, I stop and breath. I realize that I say person L for help and more wokshops will be in two hours in smaller groups. I have help, so I can calm myself and prepare all for workshops. I commit myself that I'm enough smart, nice and I know how to do this workshop that all be fine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much if I have enough ingredients. When and as I think too much if I have enough ingredients, I stop and breath. I realize that if use all ingredients too fast, I can make something else with them or use other ingrediets, because I have more types of them. I commit myself that I know a lot of recipes for kids.

Day 65: Refugees

I live in Slovenia. In last time we are often in news. We are in the refugees wat to better life in north European counrtyes. Our country are so poor, that say refugees, that noone want to stay here, but in the same time a lot of people who live in Slovenia don't want, that they stay here, because a lot of people don't have enough money for live. People belive, that this people aren't poor, and came in Europe because some pay them and latter their faith expand aroud Europe. I don't know what is thrue and what isn't, but I know that I'm guilti for this too, because I don't stop the wars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fell guilty for so much people are refugees. When and as I see myself that I fell guilty for so much people are refugges, I stop and beath. I realize that in this moment I can't stop the war, but in the same time I know, that I can stop if I don't aprove our politics. I commit myself that I think before I decide what I do and what I don't do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare of refugees. When and as I see myself to scare of refugees, I stop and breath. I realize that they don't came to me and kill or rape me or something like this. I look for exuse to go in the centre where help them and I help them too. I commit myself that stop looking for exuse and go and help them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for exuses to not to help refugees. When and as I see myself that I look for exuses to not to help refugees, I stop and breath. I realize that refugees are people too and they need help. One of my exuse is that I don't have enough money for help them, but they don't have any money, so this is not exuse anymore. I commit myself that I look my exuse if are real or not, and see if I can go without expose hazard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belive almoust all news in media. When and as I see myself to belive almoust all news in media, I stop and breath. I realize that news in media are not real. Rich people buy media and they say like what they must to say, not what is in real. In social media are other cine of news, but the real is in the middle. I commit myself that I belive what I see in my eyes or from people I trust and not from media.

Day 64: Love and hate

A few months ago I like person A, but when I see what cond of person is, I want broke all. I belive him, but he doing and ask me what they want, because he know, that I belive him and help him and work for him. Too late I realize that he is not person what I see that he is. Last time I arguing with him and anoying all around us. I have reaction on him, so I canceled friendship on facebook and I wait that I look my reaction and later ask for friendship again. He say that one girl is better than me and this say to me, that we can't be together, only mybe friends. It was ok for two weeks, but now we arguing again and this isn't good for group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like person, because he want talk to me and spend some time with me. When and as I see myself to like person, because he want talk with me and spend some time with me, I stop and breath. I realize that I like him but I don't know him at all. He was only cute for me and he want help me and this is all. I commit myself that I known people the first and then if is good for both, we go in relationship.

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous on him when I see him with women. When and as I see myself to be jealous on him when I see him with women, I stop and breath. I realize that he have men and women for friends and talk with them and was together and so on. So we never be in relationship, so I no need be jealous on him. I want only that he was with me in the begining, but I to late realize that this isn't posible. I commit myslef that I'm not jealous if someone that I like him talk with other, if someone want be with me, do in this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in scare when he say that he came to me. When and as I see myself to be in scare when he say that he came to me, I stop and breathe. I realize that he want came to me and know where I live and nothing else. This isn't want to do, because he like me or something else, this is only my perception. I commit myself that I don't think why someone do something, because I'm not center of the word.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when he provocate me. When and as I see myself to react when he povocate me, I stop and breath. I realize that I only think that he provocate me, in real he only ansver on my question or want comunicate with me. There are no provocating. I commit myself that I don't react in any words and when I think that someone want to provocate me, I only stop and breath.

Day 63: Me and dogs

I don't scare dogs but in last time I have problems with them. First time I meet my friend's dog. It was cind dog, but I have some scare on it. Mybe because I don't want, that dog jumb on me, because I have clean trousers and don't want that dog get dirty me. Next time I meet dog vhen I was volunteer in the kitchen and dog came in the kitchen. This is no problem if dog was not earlier swim in water next building where kitchen are, so I jell on him, that dog go out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jell on dog, because came wet in the place where was food. When and as I see myself to jell on dog, because came wet in the place where was food, I stop and breath. I realize that I don't need jell on dog, only say that go out of this place, because they can't be wet inside. I must be tolerant on hm and people around me. I commit myself that I don't jell on animals or people around me, only tell with voice that tell what they must to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like dog, because jump on me when I'm in clean clothes. When and as I see myself to don't like dog, because jump on me when I'm in clean clothes, I stop and breath. I realize that animal are live and they jump and run and want to known you and they do all this because want comunicate with people and introduce themself. So I must live them what they do and if they dirty of me, I can clean my clothes. I commit myself that I permit that dogs introduce themself and known me and if jump on me, I don't do panic because that.

I fogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, that dogs who jump on the people is badly brought dog and owner don't educate dog. When and as I see myself to think, that dogs who jump on the people is badly brought dog and owner don't educate dog. I realize that dogs are like a children. You can educate them, but when meet new people can run away with them, or start cry and want to go to the parents hug. Dogs are the same. They can run and jump around, or just siting and looking around. I commit myself, that see dogs are like people and want comunicate with us.