Day 109: I am not pretty enough

I believe that I'm not pretty enough. That I'm too fat to be pretty, that my teeth are so bad to be pretty. That I must behave better to be pretty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not pretty enough. When and as I see myself to believe that I'm not pretty enough, I stop and breath. I realise that be pretty is not how I think I look like, but how I feel and how I think how other people see me. I commit myself that I know, that I'm pretty enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be skinny to be pretty. When and as I see myself to believe that I must be skinny to be pretty, I stop and breath. I realise that each person can be pretty if live this word and is pretty and have good behave and so on. I commit myself to know that I not be skinny to be pretty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that person must behave good if want to be pretty. When and as I see myself to believe that person must behave good if want to be petty, I stop and breath. I realise that I don't know what is real good behave and I don't really know how to behave good. All this years I listen. Be good, look how behave in public, you don't know you behave, and so on and I don't know what is right and what is wrong. So I must behave like other people in group and like people on my age. I commit myself that I look how other people behave and I behave the same than the most other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I'm not pretty enough because I have big ass. When and as I see myself to believe that I'm not pretty enough because I have big ass, I stop and breath. I realise that size of ass is not important for being pretty or not. I commit myself to know that size od ass is not important for being pretty or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being pretty is being beautiful like model and all the people must tell you how you beautiful and so on but being pretty is something imaginary, that you can't touch it. When and as I see myself to believe that being pretty is being beautiful like a model and the people must tell you how you beautiful and so on but being pretty is something imaginary, that you can't touch it, I stop and breath. I realise that I look how I look like and how other look like and how I think how other people think how I look like, and so on, but each person see in other people all the best, and on self the worst. I commit myself to see who I am in real not in my imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that other people see me more beautiful than I see myself  and I see other people more beautiful that really is. When and ans I see myself to believe that other people see me more beautiful than I see myself and I see other people more beautiful that really is, I stop and breath. I realise that people see on me a lot of things that I don't see on myself and I see on the other people so much small things that I want to have but I think that I don't have. I commit myself to see who I am and how I look like in real and how pretty I am in real.

Day 108: Food 4

Last time I don't eat because I feel sick. Because it I lost more kg than I think I can, so I think that is not only that I don't eat so much than before.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because no need eat because I'm too sick for that. When and as I see myself to feel bad because no need eat because I'm too sick for that, I stop and breath. I realize that I must listen my body, but I must eat or drink too. If I can't eat, I must drink as much as possible. I commit myself that I eat what and when I can eat and need eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because I lost kg because I don't eat so much not because I move my ass. When and as I see myself to feel bad because I lost kg because I don't eat so much not because I move my ass, I stop and breath. I realize that if I lost some kg is no meter how, but more important is if that lost stay lost and no have soon more kg than I have before. I commit myself that I look what I eat and begin with sport and move my ass as soon as possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worry about food and lost weight. When and as I see myself to be worry about food and lost weight, I stop and breath. I realize that I have a lot of kg and I can lost it faster than later, but I must look that I lost it or be in the same weigh. I commit myself that do all to be fit and active and lost slowly my weight to normal for my height.

Day 107: Food 3

In relation with food is digestion too. Once when you eat food our body processed it and use important parts of food and other go through body out. And how fast is our metabolism is important because our body figure and our health.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try made my metabolism faster too fast, but it no go. When and as I see myself to try made my metabolism faster too fast, but it no go, I stop and breath. I realize that I can change my metabolism slowly with work on myself and change what I eat. I commit myself that I change my metabolism with food with more fiber.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to look what I'm eat and what is good for my body and health. When and as I see myself to not to look what I'm eat and what is good for my body and heath, I stop and breath. I realize that some food made me sick and blow me up. It was good to avoid this food, but is good taste of it. I commit myself to eat more fruits and vegetables, here spring will come soon.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat food who made acid in my stomach and because I have reflux acid go back in the throat and it hurt me. When and as I see myself to eat food who made acid in my stomach and because I have reflux acid go back in the throat and it hurt me, I stop and breath. I realize that I eat too much food who made acid in my stomach and if I'm nervous is all worse. I commit myself that I eat good food and look for my health.

Day 106: Food 2

I eat a lot of bad food and only a few good food. But this is good or bad food for other people and this is not need be the same for my body. Body tell me what food is good or bad for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat food that blow me up. When and as I see myself to eat food that blow me up, I stop and breath. I realize that some food like flour blow me up and don't feel good, but if I eat fat or meat I feel good. I commit myself to find food that is good for my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to eat food that is good taste and my body accept it. When and as I see myself to not to eat food that is good taste and my body accept it, I stop and breath. I realize that I fruits and vegetables is the best a few minutes or hours after I pick it up. So I eat most of fruits and vegetables when is season for it. For some is only a few weeks, for other a few months, but this food is the best for me. I commit myself to eat more good food that my body like it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better if I eat unhealthy food that my body like it than I eat healthy food that my body don't like it. When and as I see myself to feel better if I eat unhealthy food that my body like it than I eat healthy food that my body don't like it, I stop and breath. I realize that if body like some kind of food is that food good for them and I not need to worry about it. If food is not good, or I eat too much, body tell me that. I commit myself to listen my body what food is good for it.

Day 105: Food 1

Last days I have problem with my food. Some days I eat too much and too fattening food, other day I can't eat at all. I have problem with my stomach too, because I'm so nervous last days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous and because it I don't eat right. When and as I see myself to be nervous and because it I don't eat right, I stop and breath. I realize that if I'm nervous I have problem with my stomach. So being nervous and stomach problem is in relation. When I have problem with stomach I must look why I'm nervous, if I see that or not. I commit myself to when I see that I have problem with my stomach I look if I'm nervous and realize what make me nervous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat too much when I calm myself. When and as I see myself to eat too much when I cal myself, I stop and breath. I realize that I can't eat, because my stomach is smaller and I think that I will throw up when I was nervous and when I calm myself I become hungry and later, after a few hours I can eat a lot. And if I'm nervous all day I can be all day without food. I commit myself that I try to eat when I'm nervous too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat too much and too fattening food. When and as I see myself to eat too much and too fattening food, I stop and breath. I realize that when I see what kind of food I want to eat, and I see that food is not good for me, I try to change food, cook something else, eat less than I want to. I commit myself that I look what kind of food I eat and eat more healthy food.

Day 104: Food

Meat, fat, this is the best food for me. I know, that this food is not good for my health, but I like it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat a lot of fat and greasy food. When and as I see myself to eat a lot of fat and greasy food, I stop and breath. I realize that I eat greasy food before sleeping and then my stomach hurt me and I feel sick. The most common dish is baked eggs in pig fat. But I put too much eggs in pan, so I decide, to put less eggs in the pan and it's better. So, it's not important what I eat, but how much I eat. I commit myself that I prepare less food than I think I must to eat, because it's not good for me too much food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad, because I eat meat and don't feel guilty, because it must die for my food. When and as I see myself to feel bad, because I eat meat and don't feel guilty, because it must die for my food, I stop and breath. I realize that I live in farm and I be there when they kill animal for food. They care for all animal in our small farm. And we eat all part of animals. So I think, that animal give life for our food because we need this. We have a lot of vegetables too, but I don't like it so much. I commit myself that don't feel bad and respect live animals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad, because I don't eat enough vegetables and fruits, so my food is not healthy. When and as I see myself to feel bad, because I don't eat enough vegetables and fruits, so my food is not healthy, I stop and breath. I realize that I eat a lot of vegetables, because I have good results in blood test where we see if I eat enough vegetables and fruits. But my digestion told me, that I don't eat enough fiber. I commit myself that I eat enough vegetables and fruits that I don't feel bad because it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I eat enough fiber, but my body tell me, that I don't. When and as I see myself to think, that I eat enough fiber, but my body tell me, that I don't, I stop and breath. I realize that I must each day eat enough food with fiber, because I must defecate each day. But I have one day constipation, but other day I have diarrhea. I commit myself that I each day eat enough fiber for good digestion.

Day 103: Love of food 1

Sweets, sweets. Last days I bake a lot. I bake sweets for holidays. But I don't eat it, yes, I taste it, but only one piece or less. I must move myself and make something. But today I want to eat some sweet, but nothing is enough sweet. So I eat what I find. But this is not good for my body, because I eat too late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bake more than we need and we eat on this holiday time. When and as I see myself that I bake more than we need and we eat on this holiday time, I stop and breath. I realize that I can bake more that we eat and put extra food in freezer, but food from freezer is not so taste than fresh food. But I don't bake often, so is OK, if I take time for myself and enjoy in bake and be in the moment. I commit myself that I don't worry if I bake too much from time to time, only I don't need eat all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I must to bake sweets, but I don't need eat it. When and as I see myself that I feel that I must to bake sweets, but I don't need eat it, I stop and breath. I realize that I must bake it, because date of my mums uncle who die a few months ago birthday is coming and I need move myself that I don't grave so much. Baking is my run away, that I forgot on graving. I commit myself that I look why I doing something that usually don't do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need eat sweets when I have period and that time I don't find enough sweet food for eat, so I eat something salt. When and as I see myself to need eat sweets when I have period and that time I don't find enough sweet food for eat, so I eat something salt, I stop and breath. I realize that in time of period I must more drink and eat health food and I don't look for sweet food. In general I don't drink enough water. And I don't know if I really need sweet food, because I don't listen my body enough and I don't recognize what my body really want. I commit myself that I drink more and if I need some food, I firstly drink and later ask my body if I really need that kind of food that I recognize it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad if I eat sweets. When and as I see myself to feel bad if I eat sweets, I stop and breath. I realize that if I it sweets from time to time I don't need feel bad, because if I'm healthy I can eat, but I can't eat too much and too late. I commit myself that I look when and what I eat and I don't eat too late if not need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad, because I eat too much too late. When and as I see myself to feel bad, because I eat too much too late, I stop and breath. I realize that I can eat late, if I go to the bed 3 hours after meal. But I must look after what I eat in the evening. I must eat easy food and all be OK. I commit myself that I look when and what I eat and if I eat a few hour before I prefer in first place drink water and see if I must eat.