Day 100: Simply me

This is my 100th blog. And through blogs I walk with a different themes. Yes, I have still a lot of problems, but I solve some of them. I take enough tame to change myself. I know, that I'm not work enough intensive, I can do better, but this is my life and my pace. I do the best that I can. No, not real. I can do better than I do to now. I can do more intensive and faster. But is this best for me? Soon will be 2 years when I was first time meet with Desteni. Since then I change myself. I'm better me.

The toughest for me is writing from the moment. Or when I want to write some more, but I stop and I don't know what to write anymore. But that moment is the best. Then I see who I am and how I react. When I don't know what to write, I begin to look on Facebook, drink water or do something not so important. And go back and write is so difficult. So, I begin with theme and when I have theme I write about. Is so much easier.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare with other how fast I go and how good I became. When and as I see myself to compare with other how fast I go and how good I became, I stop and breath. I realize that this is only mine process and only I'm important in it. I go my pace. I know that I can go faster, but point is not how fast you finish all, but that you improve yourself and live life. I commit myself to not compare my process with other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid writing/see problem/ go trough problem when I came to the difficult point. When and as I see myself to avoid writing/see problem/go trough problem when I same to the difficult point, I stop and breath. I realize that the toughest is work on myself. I want change myself, but in same time I want stay in secure/well known place. I scare changes. I see that something work and want that stay, I don't want changes. But I know, that I need changes to live better. I commit myself to accept change and see that life is better with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to asking myself if I do enough fast and intensive my process. When and as I see myself to asking myself if I do enough fast and intensive my process, I stop and breath. I realize that this is my process and only me know and see how fast and intensive is my process and if I can go faster. In the same time I see if I need more work on myself, more agreement to myself and so on. I known myself the best. But I see, that other people know me better than me. I begin with meeting with myself and don't see some points, that other people see. And they tell me about and tell me what point I must to look and so on. I commit myself that I know I do enough intensive and fast my process.

Day 99: Be same than other people

I want be the same than other people. This is sentence that I write in last blog. Did I really want be the same than other people. I don't think so. I want be equal, but not the same. I am who I am. And I don't be the same, because each people is different than other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write that I want be the same than other people. When and as I see myself to write, that I want be the same than other people, I stop and breath. I realize that word have big power. If you don't use correct word is meaning so different. You want told, that each people in the world are equal, but you write that they the same. Different word, different meaning. But in real I don't make a mistake. I commit myself that I use correct word when I want told something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want be the same than other. When and as I see myself to want be the same than other, I stop and breath. I realize that I want write equal with other, but I want be the same. I see people who have what I want and be like they. But I can't be like they. I only can be myself. But I don't see that. I see myself less than other, because I see only what I don't have and don't know. I don't see myself and how unique I am. I prefer compare with other and I feel less, inferior. How good is this feeling. But this is not true. Being inferior or superior isn't good. Only being real me is good. But who I am? I am who I am. I commit myself that I be real myself and don't want be like other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't know who I am. When and as I see myself to don't know who I am, I stop and breath. I realize that this is not so easy to say who I am. I see myself like a lazy person, who don't know anything and so on and so on, only negative things. But I'm not pure negative person. I'm person. I want be someone who I'm not. I try to be someone who other people say that this is you. But I'm not. I'm love to write, take some picture, be in nature, but I'm a little negative too, I'm nervous when I must do something new, I argue with other people sometimes and so on. I try to be who I am. But in the same time I try to be who other people want that I am. I commit myself that I'm the best me.

More about who I am and who I want to be I write in private.