četrtek, 26. februar 2015

Day 6: Change the future

A few days ago my two friends look in my future and one of them say something and other say something different. They look if and when someone pay me. Now I know that bouth say wrong. I change the future, because I work on the change. I work on mine change.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself ask other persons about my future. When and as I see myself asking other persons about my future, I stop and breathe. I realize that I change my future if I do different that I do till now. I commit myself that I only live my life and don't ask for anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself belive that other persons know more about me than I. When and as I see myself belive that other persons know more about me than I, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am only person who know me and only I know all about me, so all question about me I know already. I commit myself that I belive myself and don't ask other questions about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking about past and future and don't be in this moment. When and as I see myself thinking about past and future and don't be in this moment, I stop and breath. I realize that if I'm in this moment don't need thining about past and future, because I'm living. I commit myself that I live and be in this moment and breath.

sreda, 25. februar 2015

Day 5: Take care for person with dementia

I lived with person who have dementia 8 years, and she die 11 months ago. I care of her too, so I still miss her. I learn a lot of thinks about myself when she lie in bed immobile. In the start of her illness, when she can move, I steal her money, because I study in metropola and I need money. But she only forgot when she put her money. Later, when her illness improve and she can't move anymore I feed her, I change her diaper and so on. No, I don't do this alone, I only help her daughter, but I work more than her daughter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that this person is need care of me and she can't survive without me. When and as I see myself think that this person is need care of me and she can't survive without me, I stop and breath. I realize that I need take kare fore her, because her daughter can't do this and I think that her daughter say me that I'm good person and she compliment me. I commit myself that I help only if they say that they need me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that her daughter say something good to me and take me some compliment because I help her. When and as I see myself think that her daughter say something good to me and take me some compliment because I help her, I stop and breath. I realize that I must do thing without expecting anything, because if I expect something I'll be dissapointed. I commit myself that I dont expect anything from other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be happy when I remember that person who had dementia open her eye or laught. When and as I see myself be happy when I remember that person who had dementia open her eye or laught, I stop and breath. I realize that I still can remember some little think about her, and still I'm happy for her. I commit myself that I stop grieve for her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself don't forget last evening before she die, because she had relaxed muscles on her arms and I say to myself that next day I say someone for help. When and as I see myself don't forget last evening before she die, because she had relaxsed miscles on her ars and I say myself that next day I say someone for help, I stop and breathe. I realize that I know that she can die soon, but it be still to fast for that. I commit myself that I remember her in good time and thing about her.

Day 4: Touch and hug

A month ago I need a touch or hug, but now is ok. Now I was be surpresed when people around me hug me. So now I touch myself and hug other people, but I don't feel anything. This is huge moment for me.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be surpresed because people around me want hug me. When an as I see myself be supresed because people around me wand hug me, I stop and breath. I realize that hug is good, but if you need hug or you something feel when you hugging some person, that isn't so good. I commit myself that I hugging persons who want hug me, but I don't feel anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself need a tuch. When and as I see myself need a tuch, I stop and breath. I realize that I have a lot of touch, because I wear a dress and dress touch my skin. I commit myself that I don't need more touch that I have now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that someone touch some part of my body and this is ok, but if touch other part of my body, I say that part is intimate part of my body, isn't ok and I feel is that touch sexual touch. When and as I see myself that someone touch some part of my body and this is ok, but id touch other part od my body, I say that part is intimate part od my body, isn't ok and I feel is that touch sexual touch, I stop and breathe. I realize that is only my perception, because is all part of my body equal and I can't say that one part of my body is intimate and other isn't, because is all part of my body only part of my body. I commit myself that I talk only entire body and dont use word part of body and touch is only touch anywhere other touch me.

ponedeljek, 23. februar 2015

Day 3: Fear to speak aloud in English

I was on presentation of Techno Tutor. In this presentation we must do in this program and I must say some letter, but I have problem with this, because I feel not enough good to say this in the group where other people speak English better than me. So I don't want say anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed be scared because I must say a letter in English. When and as I see myself be scared because I must say a letter in English, I stop and breath. I realize that I have problem to speak English in gorup where other people talk and understand language better than me. When I tape vlog in English I don't have any problem to talk, because I'm alone and nobody hear me. I commit myself that I learn English, so I talk and write more in this language.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed don't talk in English, because I don't belive myself that I can talk with no problem. When and as I see myself don't talk in English, because I don't belive myself that I can talk with no problem, I stop and breath. I realize that I have problem with myself that I don't want talk, because I affraid what people was say if I do mistake. I commit myself that I talk wiht other people more often,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed think, what was people say if I say wrong or wrong pronounce some words. When and as I see myself think, what was people say if I say wrong or wrong ponounce some words, I stop and breath. I realize that people around me be once in my place and they don't speak English werry well, so I speak enough good for myself. I commit myself that I don't compare myself with other people.

sobota, 21. februar 2015

Day 2: A massage

Today I was with some friends and one of them do massage and I ask him if he want massage me, and he say yes. So when he came to the bulding where I stay, I want to talk to him and latter I ask him if he want at that moment massage me and he say yes. When I dressed off he look in other direction, but when I lie down, he dressed off some clothes, but he still be dressed. When he do massage, he go over me, but I don't fell anything, only touch his hand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed think that can be do something else, not only massage. When and as I see myself thinking that can be do something else, not only massage, I stop and breath. I realize that he is proffesional and if I say that I want more, I think that he say no, so I don't asking him anything. I commit myself that I must stop thinking that can do some more.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed think that someone can come to the room when he massage me. When and as I see myself think that someone can come to the room when he massage me, I stop and breath. I realize that all in this appatment is adult and they know that we need peace to talk. What else doing in the room too, they don't know. I commit myself that if I say that I need calm, they don't calm in room.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be scare myself what they say if they see us what we do. When and as I see myself be scare myself what they say if they see us what we do, I stop and breath. I realize that is this think/scare only in my mind and if I thik is something bad, is not necessary is realy bad to other people. I commit myself that I must stop think what other people say.

sreda, 18. februar 2015

Day 1: Why I forgot what I promise to do

Last year I forgot words, when I talk in my language, I forgot if I promise someone to do, I forgot what I talk with someone, I don't remember names and other things. Last time I forgot today. Someone I promise, that I take some wood into a fire, but I forgot, because I talk in Facebook and later I bake something. Now I want write some sentence, but one person write me on Facebook and I forgot what I want to write. Why is this do to me?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed think that is forgot what I promise is bad. When and as I see myself thinking that is forgot what I promise is bad, I stop and breathe. I realize that all people can forgot if they thinking for other think, not what they must to do. I commit myself that I write if is important that I must to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed thinking other think and do other thing, not that I must to do. When and as I see myself think and do other thing, not that I must to do, I stop and breath. I realize, that I do what is not need to do, and because I forget what I must to do. I commit myself that I think what I must to do too.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed argue with person who ask me to do something, because I don't want to do or I want to do, but I want be more important if I do this. When and as I see myself argue with person who ask me to do something, because I don't want to do or I want to do, but I want be more important if I do this, I stop and breath. I realize, that work must be done. If I don't do, someone else must do, but if I'm at home and I'm not ill I can do this. I commit myself that I think what I must to do and do that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed forgot words in my language when I talk, and in that moment I became nervous. When and as I see myself forgot words in my language when I talk, and in that moment I became nervous, I stop and breath. I realize that all people can forgot word or they dont remember in that moment. I'm tried to explain the word that I forgot with other word, but I still be nervous in that moment. I commit myself that I must be calm in all moment, because peopel see if I'm nervous and know that is something wrong, but they don't know what.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed forgot what I talk with other person. When and as I see myself forgot what I talk with other person, I stop and breath. I realize that I can do only one thing in time, but I sometimes do more that one and forgot. I listen, write, read, talk, or do something else and nothing I don't remember. I commit myself that I do one thing at time.