Day 122: Lost

I want to call back someone and my phone don't react. So I become nervous and lost, because I don't know what to do. I wash my hand and screen, nothing work. What now? I borrow some phone that I call back person that call me, and then I go in the repair shop ask what to do. They told me that touch screen don't work and they need one week to repair. I feel lost, because I need some help what to do from ma family. I ask them there how much is if I buy new phone and I see that was not good. In the end I borrow one phone and call home that they help me. I live phone there and go around and all the time feel empty and lost. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and lost because I can't use a phone. When and as I see myself feel bad and lost because I can't use a phone, I stop and breath. I realise that I have addiction and this is good therapy to heal myself. It the worst be addict from a thing that is not good for me and not help me. Ok, in the some way is help me, but in other not. I commit myself that I must leave phone more often at home and don't use them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take so mush attention a thing like phone. When and as I see myself to take so much attention a thing like phone, I stop and breath. I realise that I use different phones more that 17 years and this is more than half of my age. I commit myself that I must from time to time look from what I'm addicted and do all that prevent too big addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better if I have phone next to me with battery full and connection on web and talk with other, than without phone. When and as I see myself to feel better if I have phone next to me with battery full and connection on web and talk with other, than without phone, I stop and breath. I realise that I must be in touch all the time and if I don't answer in the moment than they call me or write me is bad for me and my business, but this is only in my head. A 20 years ago we call each other once or we talk about meeting a months, weeks or days ago and all be ok, but now, we must call a minute before we meeting each other. I commit myself that I from time to time put phone in cabinet and go out and breath and be in the moment that I can't be if I have phone in the pocket or next to me when I think about phone all the time and not be in moment. 

Day 121: Money

So in the end I find job in factory, because I need money. I don't like money, but I need it in this sistem. And I must earn some money for survive in sistem and take chance to other people too. If I survive in this sistem and work with money, can help other people see money in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don't need money. When and as I see myself to think that I don't need money, I stop and breath. I realise that I need money in this sistem for survive in. There is the most of selling and buying is with money. I commit myself that accept money like something that I need in this moment in this sistem and I must learn work with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what I buy for money that I earn it. When and as I see myself to think what I buy for money that I earn it, I stop and breath. I realise that there are a lot of things that I want it, but I need money for this. I want and need new computer, travel around the word and visit people that I want know them in real life too. I commit myself that I look what I really need to buy and what is something that I don't need. Next I must see if I find something cheaper with the same quality. With travelling I must look the cheapest version of travel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need money if I want be popular. When and as I see myself to believe that I need money if I want be popular, I stop and breath. I realise that real friend like you with or without money and being popular is not because money, but because your charisma, behaviour and other things. So, I commit myself to be who I am and who like me now, this person like me whenever and now I don't have money, but I can say, that I am popular or people like me.