Day 120: I change 3

I think that a lot of people live in bubble or box and see their wold on their way. And this bubble/box is our mind and we scare go out of them. And I made first step for going out of this bubble/box.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare think out of the box. When and as I see that I scare think out of the box, I stop and breath. I realise that we scare all what is new and we don't trust on it, so we prefer be in that box and be safe. But there is world out of the box. So, I commit myself that I try think out of the box and don't scare if I see and realise something new.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare move myself out of the box. When and as I see myself to scare move myself out of the box, I stop and breath. I realise that last time other people force me that I stop out of the box, out of my bubble. And I survive and be stronger than ever. I see that that things makes me stronger. So, I commit myself that next time when I must out out of the box or bubble I go and enjoy, because I can learn a lot, and I move myself out of the box too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm not good enough and don't send a job request. When and as I see myself to think that I'm not good enough and don't send a job request, I stop and breath. I realise that I'm not so bad and send request, because I really need a job and money. And all what I need it is go out of the bubble where I think, that I'm not good enough and send mail. Is not so hard, but is big problem, if your mind is much stronger than your wish for change and when is wish enough big or you must do something, then your mind is not so much strong and you can move out of the bubble/box. So, I commit myself that I must see what is my wish and why I don't move, what I think about, what is my scares, and when I see problem in my mind I move myself.

Day 119: I change 2

Today I look over how my perspective of love, partnership and men change if there any change at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide to not look for partnership, but when one man told me that he like me, I'm in the moment in love on them. When and as I see myself to decide to not look for partnership, but when one man told me that he like me, I'm in the moment in love on them, I stop and breath. I realise that I want be with someone who like me, but each time is the same end, he told me how he in love on me and when is tame for meeting is he disappear and I react each time the same. So, I commit myself that when someone told me that he like me I stop and breath and think why he told me that. Then I look all points why I like him and try see him in the end like a person that is the same than other. I look for my backchat too and find points that is the same with all men I meet them. Then I realise that I can be alone and I still not need the men for relationship, because I must have the real relationship with myself and I must do all to made this relationship with myself good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want be in relationship with men. When and as I see myself to want be in relationship with men, I stop and breath. I realise, that I need someone to give me attention, because I still don't know how give enough attention for myself. So, I commit myself that I work on give enough attention for myself with little things like walk where I like to walk, be where like to be, do what I like to do and so on. Then when I see myself that I need someone I stop and breath and find the point why I need that attention or chat or be with someone. I must see difference between be with someone and look for attention because I can be with someone and don't look for attention because the person next to me I see the same I am and sometimes I look for attention on web, that is the worst thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don't look for partnership anymore, because I decide that I don't look for partner next few years till I become stable. When and as I see myself to think that I don't look for partnership anymore, because I decide that I don't look for partner next few years till I become stable, I stop and breath. I realise that this my decide is only a short therm decide because I look over the partner from time to time when me and my body want someone and when I'm full of hormones during the month circle and so on. When is the normal day I not need anyone, but from time to time I will kill for someone to talk and be with. And this is that I'm not stable enough and I need more work on myself. So, I commit myself that in that time I stop and breath and see what me and my body really need. Then I really calm myself with breathing and ask my body what they need. So then I give myself what I want and try be with myself and calm. If I'm angry on someone I breath, then if I really need I call someone who listen me and know how to put me on floor in right way. Then I look for all points that I must do it that this not need anymore and really work on myself and became stable.