Day 126: Love 1

Or what I hate on you. Yes, I see on him something negative too, because I know him so much time and we have ups and downs, so I can see his pluses and minuses and this time I see minuses or how different is than me.

I forgive mysefl that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like how close is he. When and as I see myself to don't like how close is he, I stop and breath. I realise that I don't know how to prepare him to told me more about him and if he like me or not. But I must to realize that when he want he told me about himself, so I must leave him alone or only support him. I don't like this, because I thin and see myself like a outspoken person who told a lot about myself. So, I commit myself that I don't hate how close he is and I only support him to be himself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like his shy. When and as I see myself to don't like his shy, I stop and breath. I realise that he like small talk, but when we start talk about him or relation he became shy and son't tell anything about him and what he think. So, I commit myself that I'm carefull and only listen him and support and once maybe tell me more about himself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like his small talk, because he want to chat when I'm bussy. When and as I see myself to don't like his small talk, I stop and breath. I realise that I often want only talk with someone, so he want to talk with me too, but he want only type all conversations and I don't have time and will be better if we talk, but he don't want to talk on phone or skype or any where, so I must typing too. I commit myself that I accepted his wish and breath and told him if I don't have enough time for chat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't like because he don't want chat on phone. When and as I see myself to don't like because he don't want to chat on phone, I stop and breath. I realise that if you typing you slow your mind and think what you must to write and so on. But in some situations I want to hurry up all together, because I don't have time, I want to told him a lot of things as so on, but he don't like chat on phone any time, ok, he call me before we need to meet each other and he is not on computer to write. But I want to chat or listen him more often than once in two years when we see each other. So, I commit myself to calm myself, breath, and accepted that he don't like chat on phone and when I want to chat ask if he want and if he say no, I don't care about that.

Day 125: Love

Yes, I write that I'm in love, but in real I don't know what think about. I know this men a few years and last 2 years are single. And I'm tired because I want to tell him direct and indirect that I like him, but he don't react on any suggestion, so I don't know where I am. And when I see him I become crazy on him and I think that he like me too, but I don't know if it's real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want be with him, but I don't know if he want be with me. When and as I see myself to want be with him, but I don't know if he want to be me, I stop and breath. I realise that I want be with him, because I see something on him, but I don't know jet what. He don't have time for me, is all the time bussy, I cry often because of him and all the time I'm dissapointed in relation on him, but when I see him I'm in love. So, I commit myself that I want to be real when I see him and see what is the thing that I love or what I want to have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in real conversation scare to told him that will be better if he made first step and so on, but on computer I don't have any problem to told him anything. When and as I see myself to in real conversation scare to told him that will be better if he made first step and so on, but on computer I don't have any problem to told him anything, I stop and breath. I realise that there is not that guilty of computer but it is my feelings to him and because it I scare told mu all and how I want to tell me. I commit myself to try next time be alone with him and told him all what I want to told him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to don't want to leave him because we know each other too much time. When and as I see myself to don't want to leave him because we know each other too much time, I stop and breath. I realise that I think that if I leave to go where he want to go, I hurt him, but in this way I hurt myself and is tough for me because I live this life, and I wish that once be together, because now we are only friends or less, but we know each other 6 or 7 years and I don't want to lost him. I commit myself that I go and breath and live my life and allow him to live his life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm guilty that he left his ex. When and as I see myself to think that I'm guilty that he left his ex, I stop and breath. I realise that he left his ex because he want do this and not bcause we kiss each other once when we meet each other. So, I commit myself to when I feel guilty, I stop, brath and know, that left partner is because them, not my guilty and he made this choice.