Day 84: Bad mood or depression 10

In blog 75 I wrote: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start think about bad things when I finish with my work and I go in bad mood again. When and as I see myself to start think about bad things when I finish with my work and I go in bad mood again, I stop and breath. I realize that when I wok, I forgive about bad things, but when I calm myself and go watch TV or go on computer I became bad mood or depressed again. I know that I feel something in myself all the day, but when I work I forgive on it, but when I don't work anymore I remember on it and feel it. I know that I can go over this feeling, but I know that I must find beginning somewhere deep inside me. I commit myself that I breath and work and don't think about my bad feelings so much.

So I mention bad things in my blog. But what is bad things for me? And how I feel then? So when I don't work I think too much and I have too much time. So I fell again in bad mood. I feel nervous, loneliness, I don't know what to do. I look for attention, but most time no one have time for me and I don't know what to do. So I start thinking how no one like me, how lonely I am, because I'm single and so on. In the end all people are guilty for my bad mood, because they don't have time for me. In other way, when I have someone to talk with, I argue with this person and again I'm in bed mood. But this is, because I don't accept myself at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive about bad things that are about death, loneliness, that no one like me, no one don't have time for me. When and as I see myself to thinking/believing/perceiving about bad things that are about death, loneliness, that no one like me, no one don't have time for me, I stop and breath. I realize that this my bad things are only what I think about myself and I can change this. I must see that I am person who like me and have time for me and I'm always with myself. I commit myself that I know that I am only person who love me and I'm always with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk with other people and start argue with them. When and as I see myself to talk with other people and start argue with them, I stop and breath. I realize that if I think differently than other people is this my problem if I star with argue and I react on their words. I commit myself that when I see myself to react in other people words, I stop and see what bother me and if something bother me I talk about this thing since I stop react.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much. When and as I see myself that I think too much I stop and breath. I realize that if I work I think about work and forgot problems about myself, I don't think about my bad mood, I don't think about work and money and I fell better. But I can't only work and work, I must to look for point where my bad mood start. I commit myself that I breath and I realize that I breath all the time and look about the points when I begin in bad mood.