Day 142: Numbers 2

Today I will write about 10 minutes. Actually I all evening I try to talk with friend and each time I told her that I'm busy and I call her back in 10 minutes, but its take sometimes more than hour. So, what is time and why is 10 minutes so convenient to told to call back?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel back, because I told her that I call her in 10, but I don't do that. When and as I see myself to feel bad, because I told her that I call her in 10, but don't do that, I stop and breath. I realise that I not need feel bad if I don't call back in 10 minutes, but only when I really can't call her back. If I know, that I cal her back, but I don't do that I made mistakes and I'm not supportive for myself and her and I must look why I do that and what I must change next time. I know, that I can say, I call you back in half hour, but 10 minutes is short time for waiting, but long enough to do a lot of things. But the same time is not long enough for me when I go shopping. So, I commit myself that next time I told, that I don't have time in this moment and call back when I'm free and don't use time, only if I really take a short period like less than 5 minutes and really came back and call back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that if I once brake the word, that I do next time too. When and as I see myself to think that if I once brake the word, that I do next time too, I stop and breath. I realise that if you one time brake the word, you must work in this and think why you brake it. Because you like do that, or you really can't do what you promise. And if you really can't do, next time promise only what you can do. So, I commit myself that I promise only what I can do next time.

Day 141: Numbers

I step in the scale in that day again and number stop in I don't know what number. But I remember what I say myself "Klavdija, stop thinking about numbers and start eating". I think, that I don't eat enough, but I was not hungry and I don't starve my body because I want lost some more weigh. I eat once or twice on day and in real not hungry, but the same time I'm to tired for prepare some food, so walk on our garden is something that bring some more food in my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much how much weigh I lost in last years. When and as I think too much how much weigh I lost in last years, I stop and breath. I realise, that there are no numbers, but how I feel and what problems I have. There is more important, that I can walk without hurting knees because I have too much weigh, than have less and less in the scale. There are new muscles in my body that I don't have before and people say that muscles have more weigh than fat. So be in the moment and listen body what it want and I will be fine and don't starve and lost some more weigh. So, I commit myself that I don't think too much about my weigh and numbers, but live my life and feel good in my body in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare that I starve my body. When and as I see myself to think that I starve my body, I stop and breath. I realise that if I'm not hungry there are no reason to scare abut it. But there is no important how much I eat, but what I eat, so each day one chocolate is worse than one fruit or vegetable. So, I commit myself to not think how much I eat, but what I eat and that food must be enough supporting for my body.