Day 2: A massage

Today I was with some friends and one of them do massage and I ask him if he want massage me, and he say yes. So when he came to the bulding where I stay, I want to talk to him and latter I ask him if he want at that moment massage me and he say yes. When I dressed off he look in other direction, but when I lie down, he dressed off some clothes, but he still be dressed. When he do massage, he go over me, but I don't fell anything, only touch his hand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed think that can be do something else, not only massage. When and as I see myself thinking that can be do something else, not only massage, I stop and breath. I realize that he is proffesional and if I say that I want more, I think that he say no, so I don't asking him anything. I commit myself that I must stop thinking that can do some more.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed think that someone can come to the room when he massage me. When and as I see myself think that someone can come to the room when he massage me, I stop and breath. I realize that all in this appatment is adult and they know that we need peace to talk. What else doing in the room too, they don't know. I commit myself that if I say that I need calm, they don't calm in room.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be scare myself what they say if they see us what we do. When and as I see myself be scare myself what they say if they see us what we do, I stop and breath. I realize that is this think/scare only in my mind and if I thik is something bad, is not necessary is realy bad to other people. I commit myself that I must stop think what other people say.