Day 5: Take care for person with dementia

I lived with person who have dementia 8 years, and she die 11 months ago. I care of her too, so I still miss her. I learn a lot of thinks about myself when she lie in bed immobile. In the start of her illness, when she can move, I steal her money, because I study in metropola and I need money. But she only forgot when she put her money. Later, when her illness improve and she can't move anymore I feed her, I change her diaper and so on. No, I don't do this alone, I only help her daughter, but I work more than her daughter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that this person is need care of me and she can't survive without me. When and as I see myself think that this person is need care of me and she can't survive without me, I stop and breath. I realize that I need take kare fore her, because her daughter can't do this and I think that her daughter say me that I'm good person and she compliment me. I commit myself that I help only if they say that they need me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that her daughter say something good to me and take me some compliment because I help her. When and as I see myself think that her daughter say something good to me and take me some compliment because I help her, I stop and breath. I realize that I must do thing without expecting anything, because if I expect something I'll be dissapointed. I commit myself that I dont expect anything from other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be happy when I remember that person who had dementia open her eye or laught. When and as I see myself be happy when I remember that person who had dementia open her eye or laught, I stop and breath. I realize that I still can remember some little think about her, and still I'm happy for her. I commit myself that I stop grieve for her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself don't forget last evening before she die, because she had relaxed muscles on her arms and I say to myself that next day I say someone for help. When and as I see myself don't forget last evening before she die, because she had relaxsed miscles on her ars and I say myself that next day I say someone for help, I stop and breathe. I realize that I know that she can die soon, but it be still to fast for that. I commit myself that I remember her in good time and thing about her.