Day 21: Not my day

Today I text some messages if someone have time that I promote something for them, but noone don't have time. So I be in bed till lunch. After lunch I argue with my mum and want kill myself. When I think how I can kill myself I decide to finish read a book Running Lean and when I fonish it, I start read other book.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself be bad mood because I don't find any person to promote them my businnes. When and as I see myself be bad mood because I don't find any pesron to promote them my businnes, I stop and breath. I realize that this is normal, because a lot of people say me NO, I don't need it, or something other. I commit myself that if say me NO, I know, that they don't say me no, but product.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think how kill myself because I allow that my mum's words affect on me and I be angry on her. When and as I see myself think how kill myself because I allow that my mum's words affect on me and I be angry on her, I stop and breath. I realize that I don't be stong enough and words affect on me and I react on it and have feelings and emotions. I commit myself that I don't react on any words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I think about death. When and as I see myself that I think about death, I stop and breath. I realize that I think about death when I don't know what to do or if other people say somethink that I don't do. I know that if I kill myself I don't do anything good, not for me, not for other, but death is only think that other see me that I have problem, only death open people eyes. I commit myself that I never kill myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself think that only death open people eyes. When and as I see maself think that only death open people eyes, I stop and breath. I realize that isn't thrue, but some peopel see that other people have problems when someone die. I commit myself that I don't generalize.