Day 72: I'm not good enough

Today I have lecture or workshop, where I talk about a few think that I don't know enough. So I send my presentation person who ask me for this lecture and this person say, that this is cool. I think, that they want to hear what I write. So today I talk and people start conversation with each-other. THen one person say me stop, that this what I talk is not what they want to hear. I start talk about other think, but my mood fall down and became angy and talk myself how usless and not good enough I am and I think, that it was the best, that I close my business, because I'm self-employed. I try to see somthing positive in this, but I don't se it. People say, that I'm so good, because I try to talk, have lecture or workshop, and talk a front of so much people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I know enough. When and as I see myself think that I know enough, I stop and breath. I realize, that I have some pettern. When I don't want to learn enough I think, that I know enough and say myself that it's be all ok. But in real I don't learn enough and I don't know at all. And I think this yesterday and today. I commit myself that I learn what I must to know since I know enough, not oly think, that I know enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too lazy for learn, work, write, cook and other things. When and as I see myself to be to lazy for learn, work, write, cook andother tkongs, I stop and breath. I realize that this is not good for me, because stop me. I have a lot of ideas, but because I don't trying enough, I don't finish any idea. So I must try and go through this lazy seson, push myself that I be the best myself. I commit myself that I push myself through when I see that I don't want do what I must or be got to do.