Day 75: Bad mood or depression 1

My last days are tough days. I think about death again. But today I must to work. I have holidays mood and I bake and decorate. When I do physically work I feel good, but when I calm down and start watch TV or go on computer I go in bad mood again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my bad mood when I have too much time. When and as I see myself to think about my bad mood when I have too much time, I stop and breath. I realize that I must breath when I have bad time and stop thinking how bad I am and how awful day is. I commit myself that I more breath when have bad days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much about death and that I'm without work again. When and as I see myself to think to much about death and that I'm without work again, I stop and breath. I realize that thinking about bad things bing me bad things and I go deep in bad mood and depression. But when I'm in bad mood I can't think about good things, because I don't see good things around me. The best solution is physically work and breath. I commit myself that I start work somethink with my arms and breath.

I forgive myself that I don't have accepted and allowed myself to work more when I'm in bad mood. When and as I see myself that I'm in bad mood and I don't work, I stop and breath. I realize that physically wok help for bad mood and heal depression. It works for me. But I must know, that if I work, I must only work and breath and don't thinking too much. When I work I must think only what I work and nothing else. I commit myself that when I'm in bad mood I start whit physically work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start think about bad things when I finish with my work and I go in bad mood again. When and as I see myself to start think about bad things when I finish with my work and I go in bad mood again, I stop and breath. I realize that when I wok, I forgive about bad things, but when I calm myself and go watch TV or go on computer I became bad mood or depressed again. I know that I feel something in myself all the day, but when I work I fogive on it, but when I don't work anymore I remember on it and feel it. I know that I can go over this feeling, but I know that I must find beginning somewere deep inside me. I commit myself that I breath and work and don't think about my bad feelings so much.

Continue in next blogs.