Days, weeks and months before last exam, that I don't do it, I don't want learn for it, because I think that I know enough. I was tired and I hate all, because I think that I don't have life, because I help care on my grandma, go to the university and do what my parents want to. I was go to the university 8 years, too much for me. In real I think that I don't want to do this exam, but in same time I want do exam because my parents. I remember that professor say to me when it's all over, that I'm smart and some day will be something from me. I was angry on professors that they say to me that I don't pass exam. In this moment all fall off. A month latter I collapsed and since there I have a lots of moment when I say I want to die.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I know enough, because I do exame so many times. When and as I see myself to think that I know enough, because I do exame so many times, I stop and breath. I realize that know and think that I know is so different. If you know you know and if you think that you know, you don't know. In this time education is important and if person have a lot of schools think that have job faster, but not here. Here are if you have too much scholls you can't find job because it, but if you don't have you don't find, because you don't know enough. I commit myself that I study since I know that I know, not only I think I know.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I don't have live and I'm tired because I care on my grandma and help at home. When and as I see myself to think that I don't have live and I'm tired because I care in my grandma and help at home, I stop and breath. I realize that if I want I have life, because if I don't have time for myself this don't mean that I don't have life, only that I don't know what the life is and how live my life. Now I know that living is being in this moment and you can be in all the time, when you work or walk. I commit myself that I live my life each moment and not complane about things that I can't change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that 8 years of study is too much. When and as I see myself to think that 8 years of study is too much, I stop and breath. I realize that people learn all life and few years in the same school is no such problem. All is in my mind and when I want finish any school I go there and I finish, but now I don't prepare for finish it. I can't finist this school, but I can done some similar school. I commit myself that I finish some school.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do exam/school because my parents be happy and proud on me. When and as I see myself that I do exam/school because my parents be happy and proud on me, I stop and breath. I realize that I study because of me not because of my parents. Each parent want that be their child be good in school and find job. I commit myself that I study because I need this, not because made my parents happy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry on profesors because they say that I don't know enough and I don't pass exam. When and as I see myself to be angry on profesors because they say that I don't know enough and I don't pass exam, I stop and breath. I realize that profesors tell me because I don't learn enough and I don't know what they ask me. This is only my problem. I commit myself that I be selfresponsability and if I don't know somethink I admit this.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I want to die because I collapsed because I don't pass exam. When and as I see myself to think that I want to die because I collapsed because I don't pass exam, I stop and breath. I realize that I start more often talk about death after collapse, so I think is this conected. I think that I don't scare to die, because I realize I can die in this moment, so I start exploit this word for search for attention. I commit myself to breath before I want to say that I want to die.
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