Day 94: Why is this happen to me?

It's free day and I sleep in my bed. It's noise around me, so I don't sleep, but I want. So once I wake up and remind that I have chat. I look in my portable device and see that I have message there, but person are not on. It's panic time. I write in message sorry for late because I slept so many time, but I don't fell better. But I late less than half of hour. I wait her and hope that come back. But she is not came. I wait hour. It's the same. So I become nervous. I'm not late, ok, I was late, but not so much. So time go on. It was time for eat. And I cant eat. I go out, but soon came back. I was nervous and bad mood. Why is this happen to me today? Why? So I on my notebook and I get message from her, that is ok, that this is can happen each person. I feel better now. I remember that I often dream that I was late. I must do this and that and in the end I stay at home or I'm so late.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less, because I'm late. When and as I see myself that I feel less, because I'm late, I stop and breath. I realize that each person are sometimes late, because a lot of reasons. But for me is some reasons forgivable, but other not. If person late because asleep, accident in the way, is ok, but if late, because they don't want go there or because is be better at home is not forgivable. I commit myself that I accept if I late sometimes and don't feel less.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to became panic, because person that I have chat with is off. When and as I see myself to become panic, because person that I have chat with is off, I stop and breath. I realize that we have chat weekly, and if we don't chat this week, we chat next, or we chat on e-mail if something is so important. So be in panic is not need. I commit myself that I think, before react and if not need to react I go forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become panic, because I be late to turn exam to the professor and I run after him and turn exam him last moment. When and as I see myself to become panic, because I be late to turn exam to the professor and I run after him and turn exam him last moment, I stop and breath. I realize that each person/student have enough time for finish exam and if don't know enough is not enough time and you look and don't finish in time. I commit myself that I look in watch how much time I have and turn exam a minute before is over.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous because she don't come back in web. When and ans I see myself to be nervous because she don't come back in web, I stop and breath. I realize that she has her life and she don't have time only for me. So I must be on time and if I late, I have next chance next week. So simple. I don't need be nervous, I must breath and live my life in this moment. I commit myself if I'm nervous, I calm myself and breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm not person who late and because I'm late this time I hate myself. When and as I see myself to think that I'm not person who late and because I'm late this time I hate myself, I stop and breath. I realize that I not need hate myself, because I see myself like person who don't late. I'm like other person and I'm late too. I commit myself that I don't judge myself and say myself that I hate myself because I late one not life important chat.