Day 96: Like a baby

A few days ago I post on Facebook picture where I lie in bed and dink water from bottle. I lie in some position that I see in front my eyes a a few years old baby who have bottle and drink from it. In that moment I feel some feeling and I feel like this baby that I see. I'm feel like a baby. This feeling was nice, comfortable, tender, loved, accepted, all positive emotions. Over the day I think about this emotions, because someone tell me that is good for looking it, and when I think about them, I remember word child. So this emotions I remember from my childhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I know only negative feelings. When and as I see myself to think that I know only negative feelings, I stop and breath. I realize that I know negative feelings and positive emotions, but I have prefer feelings, negativity. I commit myself that I research feeling and emotions and then know what I know and what don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare feel good when I think on baby who drink from the bottle and I do the same. When and as I see myself to scare feel good when I think on baby who drink from the bottle and I do the same, I stop and breath. I realize that I feel good because I remember this emotions from my early ages, when I was single child and my parents take me all time that they have. This was before my age 4, because after this age I have some memory, but there is no anymore good feelings. I commit myself to in same situation research feelings and emotions and know, that this is mine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that this emotions that I feel in that moment isn't mine, because I think on the other child who enjoy in bed where drink from bottle. When and as I see myself to think that this emotions that I feel in that moment isn't mine, because I honk on the other child who enjoy in bed where dink from bottle, I stop and breath. I realize that I really see other child in my mind, but emotions are mine. In this child in my mind I see myself, I feel forgotten emotions from my childhood and after I start thinking about it, I see this. I commit myself that see my real feelings and emotions in other people if is some reaction in my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare and don't see emotions because I think I never felt it. When and as I see myself to scare and don't see emotions because I think I never felt it, I stop and breath, I realize that I felt emotions, but I don't remember it, because I feel better in negative feelings. I feel emotions now too, but not so strong that negative feelings. I commit myself that I feel emotions without scare.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to want to fast grow up when I was young, because older people have more positive emotions, but now, when I grown, I scare to be grown, because I feel only negative feelings and I want be young again. When and as I see myself to want to fast grow up when I was young, because older people have more positive emotions, but now, when I grown, I scare to be grown, because I feel only negative feelings and I want to be young again, I stop and breath. I realize that I want be someone who I'm not. I looking for feelings and emotions on incorrect way. I know, that I can feel what I need all the time, but better for me is, if I don't have too much feelings and emotions and only be, breath and live. I commit myself that I don't look around for feelings and emotions, because I have all in myself, so I must only look in myself.