Day 124: To lie myself

Last time I see myself that I want to help and support other people, but in my words is not that I do. I tell them something and doing something else. And what I tell them is only theory and I must be the first person who live that theory. So because I only tell them and not living I lie myself and other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to live what I talk to other people what they must to do. When and as I see myself to not to live what I talk to other people what they must to do, I stop and breath. I realise that often I talk about think that I don't live, but I have a lot of things about that theme to tell and advice them. But how I can give someone advice if I don't live that. So, I commit myself that I when I see myself to want to give other people advice where I know only theory and don't live, I stop and breath and I told them that like, I don't do this jet, but it will be god if we think and do in that and that way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I lie myself when I tell other what I don't live in my life but only heard that is the best to do in that way. When and as I see myself to feel that I lie myself when I tell other what I don't live in my life but only heard that is the best to do in that way, I stop and breath. I realise that I often listen other people and with no try myself that in my life and prof that what they say is true I told the same stuff other people and this is not god for me and other people who told me and who listen me. So, I commit myself that I try and prove what I head and want to tell other people for support or argument.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad like I have something in myself when I told other people what I don't prove in my life. When and as I see myself to feel bad like I have something in myself when I told other people what I don't prove in my life, I stop and breath. I realise that if something is logic from my experiences that I have and I heard from someone I can connect my experience and their knowing and can support other, but if I have only knowing with no similar experiences I can't  support other with this knowing. So, I commit myself that before talk something to someone I must believe in that information and trust them and prove them from myself or only I prove a part of information and logically connect with my experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not to feel bad when I talk about politics that I don't want heart about, because I'm not prepare for that, but I have a lot of advice about. When and as I see myself to not to feel bad when I talk about politics that I don't want heart about, because I'm not prepare for that, but I have a lot of advice about, I stop and breath. I realise that this is for me biggest point to work on, because in one way I don't want think and participate in politics, but in other way I have a lot of advice about how to react and be good politics, so I must work on this and become person who go in the election and give my voice for kandidate that I like it and is the most stable and talk what they think and do. So, I commit myself to don't talk too much about politics since I don't give my vote for one of them.

Day 123: Cat and fear of height

Today my mum say that I went to something to other building and with big problem I go. I see open door and light inside and then I see cat in the balcony in the top of the stairs. I call cat, but they don't response and cat scare of me, because don't want go next to me on the stars down. It look down from balcony in the other side and I scare that jump down. I call it, but not response. I go up in the stairs and cat in the end look last time down and jump. I hear only dum- dum and then I see cat how to run. It's survive, but I don't know if they have any problems. And yes, it jump 4 meters or more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare that cat will jump when I see his attention and when it look down. When and as I see myself to scare that cat will jump when I see his attention and when it look down, I stop and breath. I realise that I scare height and I scare that cat will hurt itself if jump down that 4 meters, because I believe that I don't survive if I jump from that height. But cat more afraid me that height and jump and survive. I commit myself that if I want something to not to do any animal only go away and don't scare if they survive or not, because they don't afraid anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to afraid of height and I think that animals have too. When and as I see myself to afraid of height and I think that animals have too, I stop and breath. I realise that animals look and when they see that jump is only solution they jump and survive, because they not think about height, but how to land to survive and be ok. But we think more about height, what can go wrong and why not to jump and all consequences if we jump or fall, so we are not in the moment and we think about fears, but animals use only run or fight, but they don't think too much what to do. I commit myself to learn how to react with look on animals and their behaviour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that cat not survive after the jump, but I see how they run. When and as I see myself to think that cat not survive after the jump, but I see how they run, I stop and breath. I realise that I not need be in the shock after seeing cat jump 4 meters or more and hear how land in the grass with no problem, but I accept myself like a person who is in the moment and don't think about fears and what can be wrong if I do something. I must be like this cat, who land in the feet and survive and run away. I must survive and be myself. I commit myself that I don't think only observe what is doing around myself and learn a lot new things.