Day 123: Cat and fear of height

Today my mum say that I went to something to other building and with big problem I go. I see open door and light inside and then I see cat in the balcony in the top of the stairs. I call cat, but they don't response and cat scare of me, because don't want go next to me on the stars down. It look down from balcony in the other side and I scare that jump down. I call it, but not response. I go up in the stairs and cat in the end look last time down and jump. I hear only dum- dum and then I see cat how to run. It's survive, but I don't know if they have any problems. And yes, it jump 4 meters or more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to scare that cat will jump when I see his attention and when it look down. When and as I see myself to scare that cat will jump when I see his attention and when it look down, I stop and breath. I realise that I scare height and I scare that cat will hurt itself if jump down that 4 meters, because I believe that I don't survive if I jump from that height. But cat more afraid me that height and jump and survive. I commit myself that if I want something to not to do any animal only go away and don't scare if they survive or not, because they don't afraid anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to afraid of height and I think that animals have too. When and as I see myself to afraid of height and I think that animals have too, I stop and breath. I realise that animals look and when they see that jump is only solution they jump and survive, because they not think about height, but how to land to survive and be ok. But we think more about height, what can go wrong and why not to jump and all consequences if we jump or fall, so we are not in the moment and we think about fears, but animals use only run or fight, but they don't think too much what to do. I commit myself to learn how to react with look on animals and their behaviour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that cat not survive after the jump, but I see how they run. When and as I see myself to think that cat not survive after the jump, but I see how they run, I stop and breath. I realise that I not need be in the shock after seeing cat jump 4 meters or more and hear how land in the grass with no problem, but I accept myself like a person who is in the moment and don't think about fears and what can be wrong if I do something. I must be like this cat, who land in the feet and survive and run away. I must survive and be myself. I commit myself that I don't think only observe what is doing around myself and learn a lot new things.