I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that 8 years of study is too much. When and as I see myself to think that 8 years of study is too much, I stop and breath. I realize that people learn all life and few years in the same school is no such problem. All is in my mind and when I want finish any school I go there and I finish, but now I don't prepare for finish it. I can't finish this school, but I can done some similar school. I commit myself that I finish some school.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can study in one school less that 6 years and then I start to boring myself. When and as I see myself to believe that I can study on one school less than 6 years and then I start boring myself, I stop and breath. I realize that If you study one, four or ten years in the same school is the same, each exam is different and for each I must learn. In one school I going almost 30 years and don't see final exam. This school is life. We all learn all the life, each day. So being in the same school more that 6 years is not so big deal. I commit myself that I believe that study is all life, not only when you go to the school or you have home schooling.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I change my interests so fast in seven years, because that I don't finish my university. When and as I see myself to think that I change my interests so fast in seven years, because that I don't finish my university, I stop and breath. I realize that I know a lot, because my parents want to know all in our farm, because all sometimes need to know. So I learn at home fast and each day something new. In school all go so slow and in the end we have exam and I must learning for it. But learning is to boring for me, because I don't want do this. In the end I don't change interests fast, but I want more. I commit myself that I know that you must learn if you want something to know, but learn is sometimes in school in easy way or in real life in hard way and better is learning in easy way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must be good in school for my parents because they be proud on me. When and as I see myself thinking/believing/perceiving that I must be good in school for my parents because they be proud on me, I stop and breath. I realizing that all the life I learn and want to be good in school because I want that my parents see how smart I am and they hug me and tell me this. In second grade primary school because I'm not excellent (A) but very good (B), they show me, that I'm not good enough, so I tried all this years to demonstrate that I'm good enough and they can be proud on me. I commit myself that I lean for myself not because I want to demonstrate other how good I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I'm not good enough because I don't finish school. When and as I see myself to believe that I'm not good enough because I don't finish school, I stop and breath. I realize that I want finish because other people want that I finish and be the best and find a good yob and so on, but in real I don't want this. Because I'm not good enough I blame myself and go in bad mood or depression and each day is worst and worst and I don't see point of living and I want to die. When I thinking what I can change in my life I see something good in my life, but in real I only want that my parents see that I'm not stupid and I can do, but in the same time I'm tired to show my parents what I can, but in real I don't want that. I commit myself that I see what I want and do this and be the best because myself not because I must show other people how good I am.
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