Day 80: Bad mood or depression 6

In blog 76 I wrote:

When and as I see myself that I do exam/school because my parents be happy and proud on me, I stop and breath. I realize that I study because of me not because of my parents. Each parent want that be their child be good in school and find job. I commit myself that I study because I need this, not because made my parents happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be good in school if I want my parents like me and be proud on me. When and as I see myself to believing that I must be good in school if I want my parents like me and be proud on me, I stop and breath. I realize that firstly I must be proud on myself if I want to other see me or like me, because people see how I like myself and if they see, that I hate myself, they don't want see or listening me, not other people not my parents. I commit myself that I believe in myself and be proud on myself whatever I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I'm not good enough and I can't finish any school and can't find job or find customers. When and as I see myself to thinking that I'm not good enough and I can't finish any school and can't find a job or find customers, I stop and breath. I realize that I finish two (primary and secondary) schools and I learn all my life, not really in school, but at home, whatever I want and interested for. All learning is learning if you have paper or not. Maybe you know more if you learn alone, at home, because you want to learn, not need to know. For find job or customers I only need to say myself, I do this and made what I need to do. I commit myself that I know, that I learn all my life in school or out of school and if I need something I must to decide to do and done that.